I have always been good at standardized tests. I realize this is no small gift.

One part of standardized tests that I never minded, ever since grade school — almost enjoyed — is the beginning, which is almost always the same, with little variations.

Even now, filling out job applications and health forms, it’s always: Name, (last name or first name first), Address, City, State, (two letter abbreviation or spell it out?), Zip code, (plus the extra four digits or not), Etcetera.

Over the years the demographics section has gotten more complicated. I remember way back when it used to be just male or female, black or white, and married or single (well, they didn’t ask that in grade school).

But those who create our forms came to the realization that America is much more complicated than that.

It is clear to anyone who takes a walk around the block in my neighborhood that black or white doesn’t cover my neighbors. I’ve come to realize that even male or female isn’t an easy question for some people to answer.

The marriage question is a totally different debate. Of course, since this is America, we need a ‘Divorced’ box to check on most forms. But for some poor souls who happen to have married someone of their same gender, they need to check state law before they know which box they can check.

I find that tedious and intrusive. The government lets you decide which race box you want to check. And some forms have dozens of race boxes, no proof of heritage required.

This past weekend’s National Equality March in DC was about evening that playing field for lesbian, gay and transgender Americans. The civil rights fight isn’t over yet.

Of course the marriage issue is only a small part of it. Learn more at the National Equality March website.

Soon before I was married, my husband took me to meet his grandparents.

Based on what I’d been told, I made sure I was on my best behavior – but I am an honest person. I found out that Grandma was too, sharing her feelings about some rude family members that had hurt her feelings.

Eventually, her refreshingly blunt attitude came my way. She wanted to know my thoughts on gay marriage.

Zoikes! How does someone in my position answer that?

In my case, I kind of expected this. (My dad’s a priest, so people ask me church questions a lot.) And as the grandson’s fiancé, I thought I should answer. Knowing up front that we probably disagreed didn’t make it easy. But I know that my Grandma-in-law is a church-going lady and we share faith, although it’s a slightly different brand.

My answer: When we walk down the aisle, we are going to ask God’s blessing on our marriage. We can only ask. Can’t they ask too? I don’t presume to know if God will bless our marriage, or what He would decide for a gay or lesbian couple. But I think that any couple that endeavors to ask for God’s blessing on their life together should be given that chance.

I could have gone on. I really believe that any couple that wants marriage should be able to have it. I grew up knowing the wedding ceremony to be the public display of a personal commitment between two people. The wedding ceremony is a request to the couple’s closest friends and family for support of that commitment. A civil marriage license grants some state and federal bonds between two people. A religious marriage service asks for God’s blessing.

As for legal rights, why shouldn’t gay and lesbian couples be given the same rights as other people that spend their lives together? This is America and all people are created equal. It seems very simple to me.

But I left it at that. Grandma seemed disappointed, but she didn’t argue with me. Grandma and I get along just fine, two years later. We have more in common than this issue. Like chocolate and cats and family.

I’m just reading now about how Obama has chosen Rick Warren to speak at the Inauguration. Obama has chosen other people for his Cabinet (much more powerful positions) that aren’t Democrats, but people seem much more upset about this choice. Different is not bad. We know that. But Obama has found things in common with Warren that he likes. Look for the similarities, and remember when you were the different one.