Soon before I was married, my husband took me to meet his grandparents.
Based on what I’d been told, I made sure I was on my best behavior – but I am an honest person. I found out that Grandma was too, sharing her feelings about some rude family members that had hurt her feelings.
Eventually, her refreshingly blunt attitude came my way. She wanted to know my thoughts on gay marriage.
Zoikes! How does someone in my position answer that?
In my case, I kind of expected this. (My dad’s a priest, so people ask me church questions a lot.) And as the grandson’s fiancé, I thought I should answer. Knowing up front that we probably disagreed didn’t make it easy. But I know that my Grandma-in-law is a church-going lady and we share faith, although it’s a slightly different brand.
My answer: When we walk down the aisle, we are going to ask God’s blessing on our marriage. We can only ask. Can’t they ask too? I don’t presume to know if God will bless our marriage, or what He would decide for a gay or lesbian couple. But I think that any couple that endeavors to ask for God’s blessing on their life together should be given that chance.
I could have gone on. I really believe that any couple that wants marriage should be able to have it. I grew up knowing the wedding ceremony to be the public display of a personal commitment between two people. The wedding ceremony is a request to the couple’s closest friends and family for support of that commitment. A civil marriage license grants some state and federal bonds between two people. A religious marriage service asks for God’s blessing.
As for legal rights, why shouldn’t gay and lesbian couples be given the same rights as other people that spend their lives together? This is America and all people are created equal. It seems very simple to me.
But I left it at that. Grandma seemed disappointed, but she didn’t argue with me. Grandma and I get along just fine, two years later. We have more in common than this issue. Like chocolate and cats and family.
I’m just reading now about how Obama has chosen Rick Warren to speak at the Inauguration. Obama has chosen other people for his Cabinet (much more powerful positions) that aren’t Democrats, but people seem much more upset about this choice. Different is not bad. We know that. But Obama has found things in common with Warren that he likes. Look for the similarities, and remember when you were the different one.