Constructive criticism sounds to many people like something you are meant to give a first grader, but we need to use this technique throughout our lives, with our partners at work, and even with our adult family members. If you want to ask someone to make a change (i.e., give some criticism), it’s best to do it in a constructive way, to keep the peace and nurture important relationships.

I work with a group of artists and writers on a daily basis, and every once in a while someone comes into my office complaining about how a client is going over the line with their critique. Almost as often, I get a client coming into my office asking me why an artist got their feathers all ruffled just because they wanted to make a logo bigger. How can this be avoided?

1. Avoid disputes from the beginning. Make the project expectations crystal clear before anyone gets started. If the project is defined on paper on a creative brief or job description sheet, it will be easier for someone to execute. Ask at this stage what your creative team needs from you. And be specific about what is expected to be delivered at what deadline. At the next level, it’s easier when critiquing to point out what is missing, if anything. Then, leave room for a second round of drafts.
2. Make changes clear. When you receive something and you know there will be many changes, take some time to be specific about what is obviously wrong or missing. If you have your job description on paper, this will be simple.
3. Don’t be too clear. If you’ve delegated work to someone, don’t take all the fun (er, job satisfaction, that is) out of it by dictating font sizes or changing colors just because you feel like you need to make some comment. Ask yourself if your end audience will see a difference in the changes you are suggesting. If not, zip it! And remember, you have sent this work to this person for a reason – because you are too busy, because they are a specialist, because they have access to more resources – let them do their work.
   I’ll just say this now, in case no one has ever told you – graphic artists/designers as a rule do NOT like it when someone stands behind them and watches them make changes – that’s pretty much universal.
4. Be clear about what is right. If you find yourself filling a piece of paper with red marks, invest in a green pen. Is the headline good? Do you like the font choice, or photo selection? Circle a few things you definitely want to keep. These choices took time, and your appreciation of these items will make your creative partner feel a bit more at ease.
   Start your feedback conversation by mentioning one of these items, and come back to one of these at the end of your discussion for a good ‘compliment sandwich.’
5. Language is important. If you didn’t create it, you may not understand the creator’s motivation behind the way the project was done. Some language that has been helpful for me:
   • I see what you’re doing here, but what if you tried some less formal language?
   • I like this color combination, but it might be a bit bold for this product.
   • This section is great, but I think we may have gone into too much detail for our audience. Can you break it down for the outsider to understand better?
   • This image is really exciting, but I’m not sure if it fits the character of the rest of the piece. Do you have some others you can show me?
6. Disaster plan. If what you have received is nothing near what you thought you asked for, then something could have gone wrong from the job description point. Keeping communication open is imperative, so everyone is in the same frame of mind. Maybe the project manager will step in with — “I must have really steered you in the wrong direction, we’re going to have to reboot this,” or something like that – to get everyone on the same side, and restart the project rather than slicing and dicing what’s been done.

The creative process doesn’t have to be painful. It can be a fun, collaborative adventure if it’s approached in the right way. I hope these hints will help you down that path!

I’m working on a list of creative exercises. I’ve just added a reading list to get me started; I’d be interested in any more ideas folks can contribute to my list!

• The Book of Doing: Everyday Activities to Unlock Your Creativity and Joy by Allison Arden
• The Copywriter’s Bible (Mastercraft Series)
• Creativity magazine

Thanks to Twitter and @davidwain, I discovered a great speech from John Cleese — the hilarious actor of Monty Python’s Flying Circus fame — on creativity. If you have a half an hour to listen to some remarkably academic content from one of the funniest actors I know of, check this video out:

And here’s more from John Cleese: 4 Lessons in Creativity from John Cleese.

Music has been a guiding force for me since I was a kid. I got the opportunity to be a part of musical theater performances in high school. As a part of the cast, I found a place to belong, a gang to hang with. Since then, I’ve found leadership positions in college radio, local music zines, and a record store.

Now I’m volunteering with Girls Rock! DC — a rock camp for Washington-area girls — and though I joined to donate my time and talents, I have found that after volunteering for a couple of years, I have gotten back as much as I’ve given, especially in the form of leadership experience. I have a few tips I can share, which apply to more than just musical organizations:

1. Share the microphone. Leaders aren’t responsible for providing ALL the solutions, but for guiding the team towards one. Don’t shy away from leadership because you don’t know all the answers. 
2. Audition your band members carefully. Better teams make better leaders. When you have a good group working for you, it’s easier to communicate, to reach goals together, and eventually succeed.
3. Write lyrics as a group. Seek solutions from the people you are leading, and help them organize a path to the best solution.
4. Enunciate. Especially when you are delegating, be clear with expectations.
5. Go wild on stage! …to a degree. Leaders take risks, but that doesn’t mean doing things haphazardly. Risks can be taken after looking at the necessary considerations, and then moving forward in an educated manner.
6. Now, with feeling! Passion is contagious. Gratitude is rewarding. These tools are free and if they are genuine, they can brighten up a workspace more than changing the wallpaper.
7. Practice, practice, practice! Don’t ever stop learning. The world is changing around us. People learn and work in different ways, and effective leaders must be willing to adapt. Keep on your toes. Take a class, or volunteer somewhere like Girls Rock! DC, where you can energize your leadership batteries.

As much as non-profit organizations like Girls Rock! DC can benefit from your time and talents, you can often use your volunteer experience on the job. For instance, I kept my website and design skills sharp at Girls Rock! DC, talents I’ve been able to take back to work with me. Groups like Girls Rock! DC are real résumé-building opportunities.

This year, Girls Rock! DC is planning their fifth annual camp for girls 8-18 years old. If you have some time to donate, especially if music is one of your passions, visit girlsrockdc.org for more information. No musical talent is necessary. If you are interested in being a role model for these young people, we’d like to hear from you!

*This post originally ran on Sisarina Speaks! a blog from Sisarina, under Melanie’s Be a Leader series. Check out their awesome branding, marketing and web design services.

I admit it.

I saw that bag sitting there.

I asked around, as intructed by the omni-present WMATA ad campaign, “Is that your bag?” and all nearby Metro riders responded in the negative.

So what next?

The ads say to alert a Metro employee or the police. I’ve got the Metro police phone number plugged into my iPhone. But the train was moving, it was Friday evening, and this was a rarely-seen available seat on the Orange line.

I picked up the bag, carefully set it on the floor, and sat down next to the window. A woman sat next to me, between me and the mystery bag. She had seen the whole thing, yet had no fear.

She didn’t call the a Metro employee or the police.

Thoughts raced through my head:

• I can’t tell my friend who works at Homeland Security I did this.
• I can’t call Metro because I get no reception down here.
• If I call the driver from the call box at the end of the car, it will surely cause a panic and screw up my commute (as well as the Friday night commute for a lot of other people).
• That’s a nice lunch bag. It’s really something that should go in the lost-and-found. Do they have that any more?
• What if I just threw it out a door at a random station, in case it is a bomb?
• I guess if I threw a bomb out of a train I would get arrested at some point…

Luckily it never blew up. I got home safely, though full of guilt.

These Metro ad campaigns have me convinced that every lonely bag should be treated as a suspicious package. But this was not a suspicious package, according to common sense, and according to Metro’s definition. It was a small insulated lunch bag, with room for a drink, and it seemed obvious to me that someone had forgotten it. If it had been truly suspicious I would not have touched it or moved it.

What would you do?

Words are powerful things. There are lots of great quotes about this…

The pen is mightier than the sword.”

“Loose lips sink ships”

“If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”

Importantly, as powerful, dangerous and funny as words can be, they can also be a source of encouragement and warmth.

Thinking on this topic, I was reminded of a compliment I got at a job interview in 1995. Yes, 15 years ago.

It happened to be an interview for a part-time, low-level position with a pretty high-profile guy, but he told me “I like your style.” I can’t tell you how many times I have repeated this story, and how much I have looked back on that moment and reveled in it. I am sure he has no idea what an impression he made on me. (I didn’t even take the job.)

If such a small, ambiguous compliment can stick with me for so long, think about how I would feel if I’d had “You won’t fit in.” echoing in my head for 15 years.

Treating each other carefully is simply the humane thing to do. It starts with polite conversation.You have a choice. You can decide to make someone’s day with your words. You might even make their decade.

Thank you for reading.

I’ve gotten a lot of back up from my online buddies, both bloggers and on Twitter, so I’m gonna keep sharing my goals with you folks. Feel free to do the same right back at me.

1. Less naysaying. Don’t you hate naysayers? I do. So I’m going to try and stop myself when I hear “Nay” about to emerge, and think twice. Why not say “Yay?” Or even “Maybe?”
2. More reading. I’ve got a lot of books lined up, many thanks to Santa, etcetera. So I have some reading to do. And it may be quite relaxing.
3. More gym time. Also relaxing, and it could easily go along with the reading, see how that works?
4. Clean up some clutter. I’ve got a number of boxes in my basement that haven’t been touched since I moved in, and that tells me there is some very useless crap in there. So do regular posts from the Unclutterer. Time to make some room!
5. Pay off some credit cards. I’ve been working on these, and a couple are due to disappear this year. I can’t wait! Thanks to Budgets Are Sexy for the encouragement.
6. More blogging. Friends of mine — My Scenic Byway and Thinking Clearly — that have just started are blazing through blog posts, and I am straggling with a post every other week or so. Shame on me. Time to get back on that horse!

Have a safe and healthy new year in 2011!

Also read: Making resolutions stick

This year’s Blog Action Day topic is water, and I find it hard to ignore.

Water is the first thing I drink in the morning and the last thing I drink at night.

At my house we gave up bottled water about two years ago, and I’m very pleased about all the plastic we’ve saved. We’re lucky where I live to have clean water from the tap, and we have a large filter tank in the refrigerator.

This year however, I spent a lot of time and attention watching the water in the Gulf of Mexico, wondering if it would ever be clean again. I still worry about the sealife there, and the wildlife in the marshlands on the perimeter of the Gulf. The ocean covers approximately 71% of the Earth’s surface. We need to show some respect.

Sadly, the old adage is still true for many – ocean, ocean, everywhere and not a drop to drink.

In developing countries, drinkable water is hard towards impossible to find, and developed nations are doing the same thing to their natural resources.

Polluted rivers and streams are undrinkable and produce contaminated food sources, as well as polluted river deltas and fishing areas in the ocean at the end of the rivers. Hey guess what, we’re talking about the United States, too! How can this happen? It’s as simple as pesticides and other untreated nastiness draining off of large hog farms into the Mississippi River. Read more: 11 Facts about Pollution

Want to do something? I’ve added a link on this page to the UN Petition for Blog Action Day 2010. Join us! And thanks for reading.